| I'm beginning to wonder... |
[Mar. 8th, 2007|04:45 am] |
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Should I just give it all up? Do any of them like me? I'm really starting to think I'm just wasting my time thinking any of us could be more than just friends. I suddenly want to take a week off and just go to some random place like hmm... California. A weekend up in Maine could be nice too. Although a whole week would be better. |
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| BE MY VALENTINE 3-D! (2007 EDITION!) |
[Jan. 7th, 2007|07:58 pm] |
Be My Valentine in 3-D!
This is the third annual Be My Valentine contest. For those of you who don’t know, for the last 3 years now I have held the Be My Valentine contest to find a “Valentine” for Valentine’s Day. A few things are different this year, so every one should be paying attention now. New item #1: This year instead of receiving some nice little things, the winner will get a date with me AROUND (doesn’t have to be on) Valentine’s Day. (If you’re on the fence, think free meal :-) ) New item #2: In the past, my decision was based SOLELY on what was on paper…your answers to the following. This year however, the contest goes 3-D as I will also consider things I already know about you, or don’t know about you, including personality, interests, history, etc. Now, don’t get discouraged if you don’t know me well or at all, because that may work more in your favor rather than against you. All questions are optional, and I ask nothing I wouldn’t answer myself, so feel free to ask me of the same. Answers will be kept strictly confidential.
Implications:
In no way would winning imply that we would be dating or even necessarily interested in each other. Winning simply means 1 date. What happens after is up to chance. So, don’t worry about things getting weird and/or complicated.
Rationale:
Why am I doing this? Well, first of all, I have nothing to lose. This year though, I’m looking to show some one that there is another side to me. A lot of the people I know these days know me from work where I’m very professional, and even my friends these days have really not hung out with me in a one on one setting and gotten to really know me. Be My Valentine also gives any one who may like me a chance to put themselves out there. I guess another reason I do it is to have some one to pay attention to on what would other wise be a lonely holiday for me.
Why should you do this? You should do this if you’re interested in getting to know me better, or if you’re interested in me. You may find out where I stand with you as well. If all else fails, just do it for a free meal and/or a way to avoid your own Valentine’s Day loneliness.
So, what are you waiting for? Get started and good luck.
Entries are due by 4pm the day before Valentine’s Day.
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Location:
Marital status:
School and grade (if applicable):
Hobbies (including extra-curricular activities past and present):
Future aspirations (and location):
Favorite color:
Have you ever…
Smoked:
Drank alcohol:
Done drugs:
Had sex:
Cheated on some one:
Do you…
Smoke:
Drink alcohol:
Do drugs:
Have kids:
Plan on having a family one day:
Pick one:
President Bush/a monkey:
Morning/Night:
Plans in advance/Last minute plans:
Clubs/Small parties:
Flowers/Chocolate:
Nice guys/Tough guys:
Cut grapefruit in half/Eat it like an orange:
Thin/Thick crust pizza:
Coincidence/Inevitability:
Optimistic/Pessimistic:
Going out/Staying in:
Short Answer: (or long, you decide)
Do you have your health? (physical and mental)
What’s one of the biggest (or the biggest) obstacles you’ve over come in your life?
Any regrets?
Interests:
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
Reason for filling out this survey:
Reason I should choose you:
What would be your perfect date? |
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| The Tower |
[Nov. 18th, 2006|10:58 pm] |
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You are The Tower
Ambition, fighting, war, courage. Destruction, danger, fall, ruin.
The Tower represents war, destruction, but also spiritual renewal. Plans are disrupted. Your views and ideas will change as a result.
The Tower is a card about war, a war between the structures of lies and the lightning flash of truth. The Tower stands for "false concepts and institutions that we take for real." You have been shaken up; blinded by a shocking revelation. It sometimes takes that to see a truth that one refuses to see. Or to bring down beliefs that are so well constructed. What's most important to remember is that the tearing down of this structure, however painful, makes room for something new to be built.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out. |
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| Think you know me? |
[Nov. 8th, 2006|08:44 pm] |
| You Are 42% Evil | 
You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination. |
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| Decent guys.... no? |
[Oct. 18th, 2006|12:09 pm] |
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Decent guys are every where. The problem is that we're the ones that just blend in. We don't catch eyes, we don't make waves. We're the kids in the back of the class (or the front some times) who don't say much, not because we're sleeping, but because we're there to learn. We're the guys who are professional at work, so while we may treat you like any other co-worker and customer, we may be thinking hey, she seems nice or cute or what ever. We're the customers who just go into the store, get what we want, and go. The ones who say "Oh, that's fine don't worry about" if you make a mistake. We're the ones you have to take the initiative with if you really want to know us, because only in a true social setting will we be the conversation starters until we know you. Now think of the guys who walk up to you and start talking, and think of the guys who just glance over as they walk by. |
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| Play clock winding down again. |
[Oct. 15th, 2006|11:52 pm] |
Over 4 Years ago, I graduated high school. Once I left the Tweeter Center with my high school diploma, I left just about all my opportunities that I never took advantage of. As soon as the next day I realized that I had lost out on a lot of fun times, because I took the wrong paths and spent way too much time travelling them. I forgot that once high school ended it was too late to go back.
Over 4 Years ago, Mansfield Ro-Jack's closed. While I kept in touch with a lot of great people, there were greater ones I should have known better, but I didn't.
9 months ago, South Attleboro Seabra closed. While I did good at staying in touch with people, I didn't quite do good enough. Alright, so maybe I only made one mistake in my run at South...make that two...now that's a pretty good come back, I guess, but still...
Every time the end comes, I leave some thing behind. Some thing I should have said, some thing I should have done, some thing I should have moved on from, or even some problem I never got to address. Well, I'm looking for a full time job, so sooner or later it's bye bye Swansea :-/ Now I'm not a fan of the Alice and Dave Pappas period which we're going through right now, but I have gotten rather attached to store and it's people. I'm going to miss the buddies I've made on the clock, and Hang making me admit that I work w/ a lot of cute girls, lol. Anyway, I want to walk away with some local friends, and I've come close to actually hanging out with people, but I haven't yet. I mean, I'm actually feeling enough of a sense of belonging to think I could actually live around here and not have to go back to Mansfield. I need to start getting out of the house locally and I have to finally answer a certain question the way it should have been answered a long time ago. |
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| Back to the same old stuff. |
[Oct. 3rd, 2006|02:07 pm] |
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I'm still looking for a full time job. Being as retail has been my life for the past 6 years though, I've decided that managing a little store would be cool. Right now I have my sights set on CVS and Lids. If anybody knows a place that's looking, let me know. Aside from that, it's just been more of the same. |
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| Questions that may impact the answer to my life. |
[Oct. 1st, 2006|12:27 am] |
::Vaca to PA in Oct.?::
Not one of the possible impacts, but will I get to take my week paid vacation next month and visit Helen in PA? It would be fun. I need to take my vaca some time.
::Livin' la vida Maine?::
Could Jessica move to Maine? If so, is it possible I'd follow? I haven't a clue.
::Retail of the tape?::
Could retail be my calling? Or am I destined to create a new society? I'm definitely not suited for a "big wig" job.
::Chasing a dream?::
Will I finally reach for that brass ring and enter a world greater than I could possibly have imagined? Can I finally make myself proud?
::RI returns?::
Will Helen return to the area one day? Will I have that one more friend I need around? Will I see more of my new friend Michele be it in RI or in CT, or even in MA?
::Home sweet home?::
Will I make it back to Mansfield? If so, when?
::Open for business?::
Are the concerns in Attleboro reasonable? Will Seabra's close? Which ones? If so, who's going down with which ships?
What are the answers? |
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| I can't even rant... |
[Sep. 27th, 2006|08:28 pm] |
One of my best friends moved away after 2nd grade and another best friend went to a different elementary school, in 5th grade they stripped me of all my friends when we went to middle school. They did it again for high school, and one of my friends went to a different high school. Then I graduate and go off to a college away from all I know with a bunch of losers and idiots I can't make real friends with. I get tossed from store to store. No matter where I go, what I do, I always get pulled away from my friends, and it's bull shit. I want to be back in Mansfield. I want to be reunited with my life.
That's what I typed, I've typed a lot more, but things are really eating me up inside and it's just like when I decided to move out. It's just a matter of time before I start going through the same stuff. I can see it now. The break downs, the strolls, the memories... I need to motivate myself to move forward to fix things before they break me down. |
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| An answer to my life. |
[Sep. 17th, 2006|01:00 am] |
Could I possibly have the answer to my life before me? I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I like what I'm seeing right now. Here's what I can reveal in my crystal ball (not immediate future, but sooner rather than later I guess):
New job (needed to get things moving)
A gf, perhaps?
Old friends
Mansfield
Things seem to be falling into place. |
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| A game |
[Sep. 15th, 2006|09:07 am] |
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The B league has been retired. It's time for the A game. This is how I do. |
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| BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!!! |
[Sep. 11th, 2006|11:22 pm] |
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I feel like $21,000. Why that much you ask? Well, hey, if I told you, this wouldn't be a Shaker post, then would it? So, here it is. My life. Out on the table, out in the open. I'm putting myself out there. I'm looking for a job, I'm trying to find the right girl, and I have the support I need in every sense of the word. I'm taking control of my situation. I'm following my heart, I'm following my gut, and to hell with my head. My instincts will stay true to me, so who needs to think? I plan on loving like I've never been hurt and working like I've never been worked over. I am officially a new man. I just have a few small touches to make and I'll be on way into the future. I hope to see you all there. |
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| It's Superman? |
[Sep. 10th, 2006|08:07 pm] |
Faster than a speeding bullet?
Flying in from far, far away is #1. #1 is awesome, fun, and a member of the X-Box crew. #1 could fit in with about any crowd.
More powerful than a locomotive?
Barreling through the border comes #2. #2 could take the stage by storm and has most controversially earned recognition in this post.
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound?
Waitresses beware of flying contestant #3. Rising to the top of any mountain, #3 is a force to be reconed with.
Think you have what it takes to make it to the top?
(yeah, nobody but me understands this post) |
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| Shaker 60 |
[Sep. 10th, 2006|07:28 am] |
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I determined some thing yesterday. My life and my mind is a lot like Interstate 60 and I'm kind of like OW Grant in my mind. It's easy to go from one well traveled place to another, but the places in between the highway, even though they're there, most people just zip right past them." So, how does this work? Well... On Interstate 60 "The past, the present, the future, the what ifs and the maybes, the roads not taken, can get jumbled up, kind of converge. I just happen to be in tune with it." Yeah, my head is definitely a mixture of past, present, and future, and it's definitely a mess. However I really am in tune with it. You might chuckle at that comment, but think about it. When do I get all messed up and confused? When I think. When I try to figure it out. When I just go along and do my thing, I know exactly what my plans are and there's no problem. I should just accept that the messed up road I travel is one that doesn't make sense. When I can walk the road like that, I'll be fine w/ whatever happens. "Not many people believe in coincidence. Me? I prefer inevitability. Every event is inevitable. If it wasn't, it wouldn't happen." |
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| Dream ... The Impossible Dream ... |
[Sep. 6th, 2006|02:21 pm] |
The Truth About Me...
I am a VERY difficult guy to win over. No, I really am. Why?
1. I am the Lebanese Dream. I am simply shaketacular and I know that.
2. I made a promise to myself that comes before any word I ever give to someone else, and that is that I will settle for NOTHING less than love.
3. I don't waste my time. As soon as I see the end of the tracks I jump off. I'm not going to ride to the end and wind up in the wreckage wondering what happened.
Apparently this post is going in threes so far, because next I will explain my well known (to those who know me) Three Minds Theory. It was originally stated to show how "typical guys" differ from "nice guys" but now not only does it apply to guys, but probably girls too. So, now it's more of a human thing.
Mind #1 (As far as I think a lot of guys think): Let's just call it the lower brain, shall we. People say looks don't matter, but let's be honest, even if they aren't up there on the scale of things that matter, they are on the scale. If you're hot, that will get you right in with most guys. With me, it just means you have to prove you're not just a pretty face.
Mind #2: The Brain. Once we get past the looks, which takes all of like 10 seconds, we have a tall mountain to climb. Mind #2 is very detailed. It comes down to personality, lifestyle, and things like that. It's when you get to know some body and you take every thing about them into consideration as to whether or not they're someone you could have a relationship with. Your brain tries to analyze the type of relationship you could have with that person, and if you're brain's as wiry as mine, there's a lot of thinking to be done before determining where it's all going to lead.
Mind #3 (A lot of people confuse this with the brain): The Heart. Yes, love. As I said, a lot of people get mixed up between their hearts and their minds. Some times people become convinced in their minds that they're in love, when it isn't really there. It's probably the cruelest trick in life, but it's one I'm sure we all recall experiencing. It really shapes your future perception of life and love, and it is often a life altering event even strong enough to push one over that teenager/adult line. Anyway, love isn't some thing that can be described. Personally, I'd say to think about love, think about your family. Think about the people who will always be there for you and the people that you will always be there for. Think of the people who will never disappear from your life. (Maybe right now you're thinking of your best friend or significant other, but if you had a huge blowout fight, would they still be there when it was over? Honestly, most likely, no, but if they would be, then you're incredibly lucky.)
Analysis. (Know me)
Mind #1: I'm pretty easy to get in the door with. Quite frankly, I go more for a cute face than a hot body. That's not written in stone or anything though, so there certainly are exeptions.
Mind #2: This is usually the end of the road with me. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I'm also a virgin. So, I'm very hard right off the bat to impress. Of the 4, I'd say those who might drink but not do the others have the most reasonable shot with me. The other 3 are big turn offs to me, while drinking depends on the frequency, and what happens as a result of it. My hobbies are also not often associated with women. Ladies don't tend to be big fans of wrestling, football and video games. While in my last post, I thought it was totally cool to find someone I could play video games with, and watch cool stuff with, thinking further, I don't think I'd mind someone who just made themselves scarce when those things were going on. For example, if my wrestling is on, and she doesn't like wrestling, she can go do her own thing. That's fine with me. Why's that? I want someone independent. I don't want some girl who thinks she's going to wrap me around her finger. I don't want to have some girl wrapped around my finger either. I could go on for days about what I want and don't want, but the main point here is that I take EVERYTHING into consideration. Here are some pointers.
1. The past says a lot about the kind of person you are, like how you react to or deal with situations.
2. It's not about how much fun you have when you go out. It's about how you can incorporate each other into your every day routine.
3. Be yourself, and do what you want to do. Your world shouldn't revolve around your significant other and you shouldn't change for anybody.
4. Keep your circle of friends in tact. Don't start deserting the people who have been there for you all along. Remember bros before hos or chicks before dicks. Have girls'/guys' nights out.
5. Don't stress about staying with the person you're with. If things start going down hill, either it's about to end, or the other person's just going through a weird time of their own. Getting insecure will not help the matter either way.
6. Don't over analyze. Sometimes it's better to take things at face value than to read too far into them. You should know when some thing's being implied.
That's all I can think of off the top of my head, but I think you get the idea that I do a lot of thinking and somewhere in that process I can always seem to find some thing that doesn't work for me.
Mind #3. Well, this is a tough one. No girl has really reached this point w/ me...thus why I'm single and very hard to win over. While I really care about people, and I wish the best for everyone, I also see the flaws in people. I have them myself. I'm not saying anyone has to be perfect to reach this point, but I do have to be convinced that flaws don't contradict who a person is significantly. For example, I know who I am, and I can accept my flaws, because they have never compromised who I am on the inside. Right now let's just say my heart is full of people who are family. Or at least are LIKE family. (Yes, there is A loophole here connected to the previous post).
Not only should this post provide you with a great deal of insight into my mind when it comes to people and relationships (though as I said, my mind is very wiry, and nobody could ever understand it), but it should also make a little more sense out of the previous post. |
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| "I wish they all could be California girls"~Beach Boys |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|04:16 pm] |
This was going to be a private post, but I'm tired of hiding my thoughts. I've done it way too much of late in my posts, and for what? I'm not sure. I've always been so open and care free with these posts. Well, with that being said. Here we go. (Side Note: Travis, if you read this, feel free to chat with me.) (Now I just feel weird but here goes.)
Well, I think I'm going to stick this to my trip to Maine.
Wednesday: Californication
After work, I headed straight for Maine. I arrived at my mom's half cousin's house, Bobby's (female, short for Barbara). Bobby, Scott (her husband), Travis and Sarah (my half third cousins), Nevaeh (Sarah's daughter who was sleeping at the time), Sheila (Bobby's half sister from California), and Jessica (Sheila's neice also from California) were there. Let me explain. My grandma and Bobby's mom are half sisters. Bobby and Sheila share a dad. Therefor, I'm not at all related to Sheila and Jessica. You'll see where this comes later. We hung out there for a bit, then I followed Sarah to her house. Her fiance, Andy was home. We chilled for a bit, then went to bed.
Thursday: The Little Things
Thursday, myself and the ladies went to the mall. I traveled around with Sarah and Nevaeh, and the others traveled together. Nevaeh wanted me to push her around in the mall, so I did. Nevaeh was my buddy that day. We watched movies and played and whatever. That was about all that day.
Friday: High Flying
Friday Sarah had errands to run, so I went back to Bobby's and began my stay there. Scott took Sheila for a ride in his airplane. She threw up on the way back. After they circled the house, Bobby, Jessica and I met up with them. Then I went up while the girls went into Bangor. Actually, Jessica stayed behind and played X-Box. The plane ride was fun. We saw a moose too. Then it was time for the wedding rehearsal and the dinner afterwards. Those went well. After that, I had back to Bobby's where Travis and Jessica played some X-Box while I played on my laptop.
Saturday: The Big Day
Saturday was the wedding. Attending from my family were those stated above, my half great aunt Francis, my half great uncle Frankie, my mom's cousin Tina and her husband Tom. I think that was it for my family. It was fun. Travis and I were the Errand Boys. We did a lot of small things but without us, things wouldn't have gone quite as smoothly. We even calmed down Sarah (aka Bridezilla) that morning. The food was dry and not so great, but the rest was good. Travis got the garter and Andy's sister got the bouquet which was funny (Bride's brother and groom's sister). The real fun was when the dancing started. Actually, the dollar dance was cool, and the anniversary dance too. Pretty much the people I hung around with were the people dancing. Sheila danced with me at first (fast). There were only a couple of slow songs. I danced w/ Jessica the first one and Sheila the second one. At this point, they were like family OR good FRIENDS. A lot went on. I can't even get into it, because it would take all night. So, after the reception Travis, Jessica and I went back to Bobby's and watched comedians and played a little Halo.
Sunday: The Not So Happy Ending.
Sunday we got up early and went to breakfast at the hotel (which wasn't too hot). I also called out of work in the morning, because Sat. night I felt there was no way I was making it back to MA in one piece. Then we hung around, because Sheila and Jessica had to go back home. :'-( All the girls cried and we were all saddened. They gave everyone hugs and took off. With them leaving, things changed. Since I've waited it out, I'll save this part for the main point. Then Travis and I did our own thing. We went to get my pictures developed. While we were waiting, we ate and made a new special friend named Rick. Then we picked up the pictures, went back to Bobby's and hung out until I had to leave. Then I drove home and that was my weekend.
The Main Point: Having nothing to do with the wedding.
The main point can be summed up in one word. JESSICA This is the part I warned Travis about. Anyway, Jessica was really cool. She was into the video games and the comedies and the comedians we all play and listen to and stuff. I was able to just do what I wanted to do (play games and watch comedy) with a girl like I've never been able to do before. It made me realize that I do know what I want, I just never came across it. So, now here I am, crushing on this pretty, young girl from California. When they took off on their plane I could feel some of the fun I had in Maine leaving me. I am convinced that I am the hardest guy to win over even more now. A girl like her is very hard to find, and very hard to watch leave. Talking to Estrella on the way home (not a pleasant experience) I began to cry. If I weren't sick right now, I might be crying now, who knows. I miss her a lot. As a friend, and as a girl to crush on. On my trip I also realized that I've been content to be depressed lately. It's why I stay at Seabra and don't look for a new job. It's why I "try" to befriend girls but don't do so whole heartedly. It's why I haven't been out visiting family and having fun. I can do great things, but I choose not to. That has to change. Maybe, some how, some way some thing could happen w/ Jessica. Highly unlikely, but remotely possible. So, in the mean while I have to find someone else I can connect with like that. I wonder if Jessica thinks anything of me...? |
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| The Public Post. |
[Aug. 27th, 2006|01:16 am] |
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Alright, I should have done the private post first, so I knew what to filter out. I guess here's the deal. Well, I've been feeling good about myself and trying to make the most of my days meaningful. 1) I got a kiss on the cheek from Ms. Myspace RI/Southern MA 2) OK, yes I may have 1 to a few crushes at work, but nobody who reads this is expected to learn any more of it. Just to update in general, I need exhaust work on my car, I'm being trained again for the booth, I still need to find some thing full time, but my ideas on that are changing, and my 3rd cousin's wedding up in Maine is this weekend. For the lucky few, my Private Post will be following this one. |
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| I don't know any more |
[Aug. 4th, 2006|09:18 am] |
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I am like two people rolled into one right now, and one is trying to enjoy being single and the other really wants a relationship, but feels I have to wait for the right one. Then again, there is a part of me that says screw looking for someone that great, there are plenty of good girls around I might be able to have a chance with if I gave it the old high school try. It's like anything sounds good to me, so I don't know what to do. I keep telling myself to just try and enjoy being single until the right one comes along, but some times I don't feel like it for one reason or other. I've also got one of those off and on crushes and I hate those, because normally they drive me nuts until I do something and then when I try and do something nothing ever happens. I'm not afraid to try because of that, but because I want to wait for a certain type of girl before I go for anything and she's not quite the girl I had in mind. Actually, I already know what my plan of attack would be. I won't go into to detail, because where I'm at now, the person probably won't know if it's them if they happen to see this. It is a public post after all. In closing, I'd also like to say that I wish I could show every girl what real nice guys are all about or can be like. Every girl should know that not ALL guys are assholes and they should be able to figure out who those guys are. They should also know that you can have as good of a time w/ a nice guy as with an asshole. I agree with Dove that every girl is beautiful, some just don't know it (forget the exact quote, but that was pretty much it). So, ladies, if you want to know about nice guys, inquire here. |
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| Life can really suck sometimes, huh? |
[Aug. 1st, 2006|02:24 pm] |
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Yeah, my life is so lame. Like today's my day off and I've done nothing. Why? There's nothing to do. Life is so boring. All you can really do to enjoy life is be social. Watching TV and playing video games are fun, but what purpose does any of that serve? Without other people around you, life just doesn't seem worth it. If you were alone on an island, what reason would you have for being? Seriously. Interaction seems to be the only worthwhile thing out there, which sucks for me, because I don't have any in this area on my days off. I really need people to be around in this area. I need a life...but how do you go about getting a life when it's like nobody really cares anyway? Yeah, people suck. Who cares? I think I'm going to get in touch w/ some old friends to at least have something going on. |
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